Life Can Make You Tired

Last week I spent some time away from keyboard (AFK), which for me includes being away from work. Thursday was the longest day of his and about 2/3 through it I found myself lying on a bench at my mother in law’s house telling her and my wife,

“I never feel this tired after a full day of work.”

A lot of that has to do with just how much I love my job. In past jobs that I didn’t enjoy, a full day’s work would leave me not only that tired, but also filled with stress and angst. Mostly at myself for not finding work that actually suited me.

Now I’m at the point where work is a part of my cycle of feeling energized and refreshed. A full work day leaves me feeling accomplished and knowing I impacted the world in a small way, and several individuals in a big way. A full work day might in fact leave me tired, but it’s a strong finish to an important effort, the muscles begging to be stretched after a run.

That fatigue I felt on Thursday wasn’t from the pain of labor, or the frustration that comes with making art. It’s an existential drain. It’s the part of your lizard brain that says, “you don’t really want to bother with this so I’ll just make you lay down and sleep through it.” Things like driving in commuter traffic in the rain are problems I’ve so successfully avoided the past year that on these rare days I face them, I’m not very tenacious anymore. Instead I lay down and hate myself.

One of my smaller chores was hanging this bit of art in our living room.
One of my smaller chores was hanging this bit of art in our living room.

But those days still have their purpose. Work/Life balance isn’t always about taking vacation or sleeping in, it can also mean gettings those errands done that are best not put-off. Taking responsibility for things you don’t care about but would hate to have taken away. Making the little efforts around the house that your next-week’s self will thank you for. These are not bad things.

And when they make you tired, it’s okay. Make great art as soon as you can after it, and you’ll feel much better.

A Quick Thanks

There are some things in my life that are just so great I know I’m not thankful enough for them. It’s easy to thank the one-time effort, but it’s the day-in day-out efforts that really make a life wonderful. So here’s a quick thanks to people I don’t thank nearly enough.

My Mom and Dad

Anything positive from me can assuredly be traced back to good decisions made by my parents. The more I try to better myself the more I realize I’m trying to be the man I think would make them proud. They taught me to seek out the best in the situations I’m given, to work hard, and to realize that some things just aren’t in my control (but more things are than I might think.) Hopefully their grandparenting skills can help level out my sure-to-be-bizarre fatherhood too.

My Wife

I actually thank Ber a lot. She pretends to get sick of how often I tell her I love her and appreciate her. But it’s not actually enough. This woman is worth the world. I married up.

My Friends

I don’t have very many friendships, but the ones I have I care about deeply. They’ve never let me down when I needed them and I hope they feel the same way about me. I’d gladly help more if I get the chance.

Thanks to all of you for everything. It’s appreciated.