My mind fights with itself a lot. It’s like playing both colors in chess. Your move as white, then on the other side of the board you counter it with the same ferocity as black. You always win and you always lose.
Sometimes it’s what gives me my advantage. I see a lots of sides to an argument. I’m willing to change my mind quickly. Once I know the answer I go one step further to see if I’m wrong. It helps me when learning and teaching.
Many days it becomes problematic. The war wages and my body can’t keep up. I’m thinking and thinking meanwhile the tension in my shoulders, my teeth start grinding, and I can’t type on the keyboard without my wrists burning.
That’s when I know it’s not about the problem anymore. It’s not about anything that’s wrong with work, with home, with life. It’s just a spiral that my mind has created. It’s worth trying to reset.
- Riding a bike
- Writing (with a pen and paper)
- Speaking out loud (preferably with a friend)
All these are my best bets to help the reset take hold. They are also some of the hardest things to convince myself to do. Caffeine and food almost always make it worse but they are almost always my first reaction.