Guaranteed Results

I joined a gym. It’s not a normal gym. It’s more of a personal & group training space where everyone gets to do Rocky’s training montage from Rocky IV. In a recent interview with the lead trainer, he said “the world doesn’t have ergonomic grips and evenly balanced weights. So why train that way?” Workouts include lots of repurposed materials, body weight and getting dirty, but it’s still built on resistance training and functional movement.

My first workout included (but was not limited to) dragging a weighted tire, swinging a sledge hammer around, and maneuvering a rope swing like Tarzan. It was intense. I’m too out of shape to keep up with the group 100%, but the trainer helped me take it at a pace/level I could participate at without passing out. The first goal for my personal sessions will be getting me fit enough that I can actually do all the sets found in the typical ‘pack’ workouts done in groups.

When I signed up, they offered “guaranteed results in 3 months” with one disclaimer:

Just show up and do what we say.


By Alex

Web Developer and Fitness Coach in Louisville, KY

3 replies on “Guaranteed Results”

Haha, I guess I didn’t think to ask what kind of results. I was hoping for something like ‘lower body fat percentage and greater strength’ but might end up with something more akin to ‘greater likelihood to wander in the wilderness like a madman.’

Have a comment? Try to be nice.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s