Three-year-olds are sometimes called “three-nagers.” They can go from excited and playful to moody and recalcitrant with seemingly no explanation.
In those moments, I sometimes get upset too. I like playing with Grace, even to the point of spoiling. But when I take the time and effort to put her fun first, that three-nager attitude doesn’t just go away, so at my worst I feel like she’s intentionally being ungrateful. And that’s not fun for either of us.
When I’m at the top of my parenting game though, I notice that she actually has plenty of opportunity for fun but she’s hitting a mood. A great tool for these moments is to find something completely absurd to make her mind reset.
“Did you know the sky is pink when you’re not looking?” has worked – she instantly switched from grumpy to playful, trying look down then back up at the sky.
One day she would respond to everything I said with “NO!” so I timed out a click of our car’s panic button with her response and by the time she was done yelling, she was smiling at the distraction. That was a better game than ‘yell at daddy.’
If you just need something to change, a bit of craziness can be effective.
What some may think is tongue in cheek is actually brutally honest in this short, funny book. My wife and I are both procrastinators, so we had a good evening me reading this book instead of working and her listening to the best laugh lines every ten minutes or so. A good read for anyone feeling a bout of shame about their own procrastinating nature.
Locke & Key, Vol. 3: Crown of Shadows by Joe Hill and Gabriel Rodriguez
The scariest Locke & Key volume yet. I really wish I could go back in time and read these books as they were released. Every page is well done. It hurts to see the Locke family going through such horrific things, but it’s the very best sort of horror… perhaps the best sort of fiction… that makes us thankful to have a less interesting problem to tackle.
Ghost Tree by Curnow, Gane, and Herring
The final book of this four-issue miniseries from IDW came out and holy cow the ending was jarring. The whole story is ethereal and strange, but I loved it, but suddenly I wasn’t sure how to handle it. They certainly accomplished the goal of making me thinking about this story for days after finishing it.
Another note about comics
I started collecting comic books in May. I love it. I’ve had phases where I’d get a trade paperback on a friend’s suggestion or if I saw something interesting at the used bookstore. But a new comic shop opened up near us and I wanted to check it out and support it… and now I look forward to every Wednesday. My favorite book is The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, which happens to be ending in December. If you’d like to read the last storyline of Squirrel Girl along with me, look for #47 on August 14th.
That said, I may not always mention all the comic books… but rest assured I’m reading them.
I got so much out of this book, I read it twice in two days. I made some immediate changes to my business and schedule right afterwards. I wish I’d read this a year ago.
The Art of Learning by Josh Waitzkin
I wish I’d read this ten years ago. I heard about it when it first came out, and I always feel some kind of connection to Josh Waitzkin because of my childhood in scholastic chess scene. Part memoir, part self-help, Josh is a great educator and it he brings a lot of clarity to learning difficult skills at the highest levels.
If anyone knows of a “Josh Waitzkin, but a programmer,” I’d really want to learn about them. Matt Mullenweg is the closest person that comes to mind for me?
It’s tempting to catch up, do extra, race harder, or double down. Looking back at what’s been done (or more often in my case, ruminating on how much less than desired is done) and demanding a new, better pace going forward.
But none of those options gives you any more hours, any more energy, or any more of the present moment than what you have already. You’re only left with the choice of what to do right now.