Alex "Gus" Gustafson

Category: Life

  • In My Head But Thankful

    Today’s been pretty rough. I forced myself to get some things done, but my mind is distraught thinking through what I need to figure out in the coming weeks and months.

    At the Grand Meetup I learned one of my colleagues had a “thankfulness” practice in lieu of meditation. I thought I’d give that a try.

    Thankful for my wife. She let me get out of the house tonight and clear my head even though it means more work for her, watching the baby by herself.

    Thankful for my company and my colleagues. They understand that not everyday is our best, and growth over time is what’s most important. I’m in a marathon, not a sprint.

    Thankful for my blessed life. Medical bills are annoying to pay and manage, but I only have them be cause we needed professional help and we received it. Home repairs are expensive and inconvenient, but we have a luxurious, affordable house where most on earth would be happy with far less.

    I can’t remember the last time I needed food and couldn’t eat, when I needed sleep but hadn’t the time, or when I was ill and couldn’t rest. Those alone are enough to be thankful for.

    With all this to be thankful for, surely I can wake up tomorrow and find my way through another day just as well as the next person.

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  • Twenty-Nine

    Happy birthday. My life is a blessed one. It feels tough at times, but they are the problems that many would gladly accept for the promises they bring.

    Being a father is hard and it wears you down like no other venture. Our child is lovely and I’m happy to play my part in raising her. Who cares about my years when hers are there to count.

    We bought a house, moving for the first time since Ber and I first lived together in 2013. It’s been stressful, but everytime I walk from room to room I feel like we’ve found a home where we can lay down roots. “A good move,” as they say.

    This time last year I weighed 35 pounds more than I do right now and I stressed every night due to the state of my health. I still expect more from myself, but I know I’ve made great strides in fitness. I’m better prepared to find a path that suits the life I want to live. Finding a ‘normal’ in a new endeavor often takes the shape of failing in a lot of new, not-normal ways.

    Most importantly I’m thankful for the opportunities I have everyday. Everywhere I turn there is so much potential for time well spent. I only wish I could live up to that potential more often. To be the husband I can be, the best father, the best happiness engineer. There are a lot of people out there I can help and I hope to find better ways of helping.

    My focuses for the next year:

    • Strength (I’ve established a firmer base of fitness. I can now establish some true goals.)
    • Consistency (My good days are pretty damn good. I could use fewer bad days.)
    • Simplicity (Happiness is a measure of your aims. Making those aims simpler tends to make you happier.)

    Thanks to everyone who’s there for me. You’re noticed and appreciated. You make my life better and I hope I can do the same for you.

    Past birthdays: 28

    photo-on-9-8-16-at-11-21-pm

     

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  • Quiet With Reason

    I’ve been pretty head-down for a while now. I’ve been quiet about it because there’s not an easy way to talk about it.

    We just bought a house and among other small improvements we had to replace the A/C system. Our emergency fund took a big hit and we’re now feeling way less secure than we normally would.

    Grace had surgery and will be in a double hip spica cast for a minimum of 6 weeks. Not only is that more bills to pay, it’s a huge impact on how hard the day-to-day is.

    At work I’m on a team rotation where I’m learning a ton of new stuff, but I need to think twice as hard to get a similar amount of work done. Trying to make the most of it while balancing everything else has proven difficult, even if I love the work itself.

    a8c Grand Meetup is two weeks away. There is a lot of energy that goes into that.

    WordCamp Louisville is 72 days away. There is a ton of work to get done before that.

    Photo on 8-30-16 at 8.45 PM.jpg

    On the plus side, I stepped on the scale the other day and I weighed in at 235. That’s the lightest I’ve been since my freshman year of college. I’ve not been working out the past month with all the other stresses throwing me off schedule – but am now working on kettlebell training at home which I’m hopeful will be a good long-term regimen for me.

     

    Also on the plus side, with all those hardships still come some amazing benefits. Even when work is hard, it’s a great job where I’m appreciated and feel good about every minute spent doing it.

    Grace doesn’t care about the surgery or cast, she only cares about the attention we give her. So in a way she’s happier than ever. She’s also sleeping better.

    The house proves everyday to be a good choice for us, even though that one unexpected expense was a little daunting. And even though the emergency fund is skimpier, we’re not about to hungry any time soon (though we may say “No” if you ask us out to eat.) It’s the right size, in a great neighborhood, and fit our budget well.

    Yeah, being quiet and head-down can be good too.

     

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  • Odd, but I Support It

    For once my cat decided to hangout behind my monitor, instead of right in front of it.

    Black cat named Bagheera standing behind a computer monitor

    This adorable change of events will likely never happen again.

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  • Battling Worry with Meditation

    For the last week or so I’ve tried something new. After listening to a Tim Ferriss podcast episode with Josh Waitzkin, I decided to try out a bit of meditation during my morning routines.

    To get started, I’m using Headspace.

    headspace

    For ten minutes a day, I do what Andy says and I get a little closer to understanding where my mind is. Eight days in now, I’m starting to find in my sessions that the real value isn’t in the ten minutes of being calm but in what thoughts come up in those ten minutes.

    An example: I’m more anxious about my fitness than I thought.

    My CrossFit workout on Monday didn’t go as I’d like. I was upset while it was happening – I got over it afterwards. Or so I thought.

    But this morning while meditating it just kept coming up. I could almost see myself panting on the floor of the gym.

    The cool thing about meditation though is that thoughts like these don’t take over your mind, it’s more that you watch them pass by.

    Imagine sitting on your front porch and you notice a blue car drive by and turn at the end of your block. No big deal. But then a minute late that same blue car drives by again. And again another minute later. The car is driving in circles – weird!

    That’s what an anxious thought feels like when you’re meditating. It keeps coming up, and you’ll notice it, but it doesn’t take over your mind the way it does when you actually feel anxiety.

    So now I’m back in my normal state, and I can logically think about this. What can I do differently? Should I talk to my coaches that I’m worried about how yesterday went? Was that workout just hard and any beginner would’ve felt the same? Maybe I’m not scaling back my workouts enough? Perhaps there’s something obvious I’m missing, like not enough fruit or water before the workout?

    Those are next steps, not the worries of an anxious mind, and next steps can be acted upon.

    If it weren’t fitness, it would be something else. Your mind isn’t static, there will be thoughts popping up even when you’re calm and meditating.

    But consider this a new diagnostic tool for what’s going on in your mind. 10 minutes a day is a small price to pay if it helps you figure out what really is causing any worry, grief, or stress during all your other waking hours.

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  • Joyously Blind to Haircuts

    I’m aware of the idea of a bad hair day. People talk about them as something commonplace and often unavoidable. But I don’t recall ever having a bad hair day. Similarly, people get bad haircuts. I’m reminded of the Cory Matthews’ Haircut Cycle of Shame on Boy Meets World. But I don’t remember ever having a bad haircut. And there were years when I cut my own hair!

    This is not to say that I’m blessed with magical, perfect hair. Rather, it’s something to which I’m blinded. How my hair is looking or how well my haircut was done isn’t something I think about, much less mention to others. Certainly there have been days my hair looked horrible and my haircut was poor, but I was blind to it. For me it may as well have been a great hair day.

    Knowing that how we think doesn’t have to match the reality of the thing can be a blessing. It brings me joy not to think about the goodness of my hair that day. Ignorance is bliss.What else could I ignore to be happier? I’ll take that deal most every time.

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  • Bagheera Cuddles

    He saw the little human cuddle with me like this and he wanted to try it out.

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  • Now (2016 Resolution)

    Over the weekend I tried putting together a post about New Year’s Resolutions or goals for the coming year. But I never really got past the self-reflection part. I have some measurable goals for work, but all in all I’m incredibly happy with how my life is shaping and I don’t really ‘resolve’ much of anything.

    Resolve to keep doing what I’m doing I suppose?

    I’ve got a lot to learn, but I feel like my biggest issues are all things I’ve already been tackling for months, so the new year has no bearing on it at all.

    With that in mind, I quit working on the resolutions post. Instead, I did another update I’ve been meaning to add for a some time. Derek Sivers is one of my favorite role models, and he started a movement he’s calling “NowNowNow.” The movement is the idea that websites should have a “Now” page.

    If a contact page is where I learn how to reach you, and an about page is where I understand your history/context, the now page is where I learn what’s important to you right now in this phase of your life/business/project.

    Maybe we were close friends in high school but haven’t spoken for years: you don’t really need my About page, you know who I am. But my Now page would be really helpful if you wanted to check in on me.

    Since that self-reckoning is as far as I got in my resolutions, I basically turned all that stuff into my new Now page. It’s up there in the menu and I’ll keep it updated with what my focuses are for this stage of life.

    2016 Resolution: Keep “Now” updated?

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  • Dark Side Coffee

    My mother-in-law got me this awesome mug for Christmas. Today’s the first chance I’ve had to use it. Goes well with the rest of our living room.

    Photo on 12-31-15 at 6.56 AM

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  • Christmas Songs That Don’t Drive Me Nuts

    82 minutes of Christmas music I actually enjoy.

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