Thank goodness I have a lovely, understanding wife. I’ve basically been a ball of grump all afternoon and she shouldn’t have to put up with that. But she did. I’m still married; so I’ve got that going for me.
Category: Life
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Hello, my name is Alex, and I’m a coffee addict.
I’ll always be an addict. But for now I’m an addict who’s taking steps to drink less coffee. I plan to have at least two weeks of drinking nothing stronger than decaf coffee and herbal tea.
Earlier in the fall, I would’ve very much defended my addiction. There’s even an awesome CGP Grey video that says it’s okay.
But evidence began to mount that I couldn’t ignore. Baristas at my new favorite coffee shop told me I was drinking too much – and I was drinking nearly a pot of coffee at home along with all the coffee I had while there. My sleep was getting worse and worse. I was useless mentally until my 3rd cup.
These are not conditions for success. I could hear Tim Ferriss’ voice in my head all the time telling me to drink nothing stronger than green tea for a year (his advice to a friend who was addicted to stimulants.)
I’m not committing to a year, but I decided to start a reduction. My plan has been to back down a bit more every week then do at least two weeks of no caffeine at all:
- As much caffeine as I want until 12pm
- Up to 3 servings of coffee before 12pm
- 2 servings before 12pm
- 1 serving before 12pm
- No caffeine
- No caffeine
- ???
First week went better than I expected. I definitely found myself struggling in the afternoon for energy but wasn’t getting headaches and it helped with sleep from day one. Stopping at 12pm should stay around even after I add coffee back.
The second week I accidentally cheated. Because one of my favorite mugs is larger than most. But I didn’t realize how much larger. 3 cups from this thing is really more like 5. So I just re-did the 3-serving week successfully and sure enough I’ve been dealing with headaches, low energy, and difficulty with focus.
My enormous Star Wars mug. It drew me to the dark side with its vast amount of coffee. Today starts the 2-serving week. I’m genuinely worried about whether or not I can hold myself to it. We’ll see.
I’ve learned a couple things already though. One, I really prefer regular coffee to espresso when it comes to getting a caffeine fix. One day Ber was out running an errand in the morning so I had herbal tea at breakfast and she got us lattes. They say there were three shots of espresso in that latte but I may as well have had a glass of milk. I just need a steady drip at all times, it would seem.
Two, I don’t hate decaf as much as I remember hating it. I think I just remember all the times I wanted a bit of energy and didn’t get it. But I’ve been drinking a bunch of decaf in the afternoons and it’s not been so bad. It just makes me feel old.
Three, I really am an addict. It was a problem. I should have dealt with it earlier. I’m dealing with it now.
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My updates are now posted at alexjgustafson.blog .
Everything is still hosted at WordPress.com, so if you visit the old URL you’ll get redirected.
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Deep sigh. That’s about all I’ve got right now. That’s my complete arsenal.
Seems like in every facet of my life I’m letting down the other people involved. I’ve tried cutting back on anything that I personally wanted. And nowhere has anyone else appreciated me more for it. In some cases they appreciate me less.
The only time I’m actually doing what I want any more is that I’m getting 8 hours of sleep. And even that comes at the cost of my wife’s sanity because this baby won’t stay asleep.
I don’t watch the baby enough. I don’t get enough work done. My friends never see me. And all I can pull together is this shitty blog post.
Sigh.
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I voted, and you should too.
My vote for Hillary Clinton won’t affect whether or not she wins. Kentucky is overwhelmingly in support of Donald Trump and I can’t really change that. But there were plenty of important decisions to make down-ballot and my vote could very well impact those.
Please make the time to get out there today if you haven’t already.
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I feel better when I’m moving. Three walks and a bike ride really keep my head clear.
I’m a better follower than a leader.
Where would I be without coffee.
My kiddo is growing up. She ate more fruit than me today.
Schedule, tasks, reminders, and habits. When I think only about those my day falls into place much better than if I try to think about the day itself.
Keep pushing, and we’ll get through this.
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For a few months I’ve been seeing a therapist again. She lets me show up at her office, vomit out some words about how I feel like a failure, then she tells me that I’ll be okay, and then I leave. We do that every few weeks.
One of the best things she’s said to me is this: it’s okay to suck at things. There are things I’m trying to do, and if they go poorly that doesn’t make me any worse at being me.
I drew this. It sucks. And that’s okay. Once I’m allowed to suck, that means I’m also allowed to stress a little less about it.
Do what you can when you can. Try to grow. Worrying just stops you from learning.
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Alex "Gus" Gustafson 