Alex "Gus" Gustafson

  • Let Our Formulas Find Your Soul

    Every Monday, Spotify creates a playlist for you with music they think you’ll like. It’s called “Discover Weekly.” It can be hit or miss – but I usually give it a shot at least once during the week. This week it did not disappoint.

    Leading off the playlist was Vienna Teng’s “Hymn of Acxiom.”

    I recognized the song, but not immediately. I was used to it not with words and digital harmonies but with a brassline. It was the Bluecoats’ ballad in their 2014 show, Tilt.

    I had no idea this was originally a song with lyrics. And as I heard the true meaning of the song for the first time I was pulled in.

    Let our formulas find your soul.
    We’ll divine your artesian source (in your mind),
    Marshal feed and force (our machines will)
    To design you a perfect love—
    Or (better still) a perfect lust.
    O how glorious, glorious: a brand new need is born

     
    Acxiom is a provider of marketing software. They do a lot of stuff, and having experience in the industry I don’t want to over-generalize the pros and cons of them or their competitors. But let’s say they have a lot more to gain from your lack of privacy than they do defending it. “Hymn of Acxiom” presents a dystopian farce; a religious rite of a company tracking and manipulating people.

    Imagine if 1984 was written from the perspective that Big Brother really was just the best.

    Vienna Teng performs the song live and explains its origins in this video.

    The song has been my work soundtrack for the week. I’ve been known to listen to songs on a loop before and this one really fit my mood. In past jobs I basically sold people’s information to companies, a part of the internet I really hate. My day to day now lets me fight on the right team: advancing an open web, advocating for both transparency and privacy where both are needed.

    —

  • Permission to Suck

    For a few months I’ve been seeing a therapist again. She lets me show up at her office, vomit out some words about how I feel like a failure, then she tells me that I’ll be okay, and then I leave. We do that every few weeks.

    One of the best things she’s said to me is this: it’s okay to suck at things. There are things I’m trying to do, and if they go poorly that doesn’t make me any worse at being me.

    I drew this. It sucks. And that’s okay.

    Once I’m allowed to suck, that means I’m also allowed to stress a little less about it.

    Do what you can when you can. Try to grow. Worrying just stops you from learning.

     

    —

  • In My Head But Thankful

    Today’s been pretty rough. I forced myself to get some things done, but my mind is distraught thinking through what I need to figure out in the coming weeks and months.

    At the Grand Meetup I learned one of my colleagues had a “thankfulness” practice in lieu of meditation. I thought I’d give that a try.

    Thankful for my wife. She let me get out of the house tonight and clear my head even though it means more work for her, watching the baby by herself.

    Thankful for my company and my colleagues. They understand that not everyday is our best, and growth over time is what’s most important. I’m in a marathon, not a sprint.

    Thankful for my blessed life. Medical bills are annoying to pay and manage, but I only have them be cause we needed professional help and we received it. Home repairs are expensive and inconvenient, but we have a luxurious, affordable house where most on earth would be happy with far less.

    I can’t remember the last time I needed food and couldn’t eat, when I needed sleep but hadn’t the time, or when I was ill and couldn’t rest. Those alone are enough to be thankful for.

    With all this to be thankful for, surely I can wake up tomorrow and find my way through another day just as well as the next person.

    —

  • WWWP5k: The Worldwide WordPress 5k

    I ran the WWWP5k this morning and there’s still time for you to sign up! Wait, how does that work?

    Any time between Monday, September 19th to Sunday, September 25th, travel a 5k anyway you’d like. Walk along the beach. Run on your treadmill. Jog with your dog. Hike in the woods.

    Once you’ve done your 5k, post about it on your WordPress site, tag the post with wwwp5k, and publish it for the world to see. Need a WordPress site? Start one for free on WordPress.com.

    Since Automattic is currently gathered in Whistler, BC, Canada for our annual Grand Meetup I had the pleasure of running with about 100 of my colleagues near our hotels. It was a rainy and wet, but not as cold as you’d think! Having not run once since my last 5k in May it wasn’t exactly my best performance but I did enjoy the outing.

    To encourage Automatticians to join in this mornings run, we’re making a donation to Soles4Souls for every participant here at our Grand Meetup. How could I pass that up? Totally worth getting up early.

    —

    ,

  • Twenty-Nine

    Happy birthday. My life is a blessed one. It feels tough at times, but they are the problems that many would gladly accept for the promises they bring.

    Being a father is hard and it wears you down like no other venture. Our child is lovely and I’m happy to play my part in raising her. Who cares about my years when hers are there to count.

    We bought a house, moving for the first time since Ber and I first lived together in 2013. It’s been stressful, but everytime I walk from room to room I feel like we’ve found a home where we can lay down roots. “A good move,” as they say.

    This time last year I weighed 35 pounds more than I do right now and I stressed every night due to the state of my health. I still expect more from myself, but I know I’ve made great strides in fitness. I’m better prepared to find a path that suits the life I want to live. Finding a ‘normal’ in a new endeavor often takes the shape of failing in a lot of new, not-normal ways.

    Most importantly I’m thankful for the opportunities I have everyday. Everywhere I turn there is so much potential for time well spent. I only wish I could live up to that potential more often. To be the husband I can be, the best father, the best happiness engineer. There are a lot of people out there I can help and I hope to find better ways of helping.

    My focuses for the next year:

    • Strength (I’ve established a firmer base of fitness. I can now establish some true goals.)
    • Consistency (My good days are pretty damn good. I could use fewer bad days.)
    • Simplicity (Happiness is a measure of your aims. Making those aims simpler tends to make you happier.)

    Thanks to everyone who’s there for me. You’re noticed and appreciated. You make my life better and I hope I can do the same for you.

    Past birthdays: 28

    photo-on-9-8-16-at-11-21-pm

     

    —

  • Instant Subscribe: Atomic Game Theory

    Atomic Game Theory is a YouTube show hosted by Richard Malena.  Malena uses conflict theory and math to explain interesting choices in designer board games. There are only three episodes so far, but they cover some great games: Dominion, Sheriff of Nottingham, and Lords of Waterdeep.

    Richard is a pleasant host and the writing displays clear, educational thinking. Something tells me Richard is the guy that reads the rulebook in its entirety then teaches his gaming group how to play the day-of. I’m that guy in my circle of friends so I grok you, Richard. Also, it’s produced by Angela Webber. Yes, that Angela Webber. She’s great too.

    (Hat tip to Geek & Sundry)

    —

  • The Homebrewery: Create Your RPG Adventures With Style

    The Homebrewery is an amazing tool for making your homebrew D&D adventures print with just as much style and awesomeness of your favorite adventure path.

    Screen Shot 2016-09-06 at 8.00.04 PM.png

    I’m definitely using this for my next homebrewed module.

    Hat tip to Payton.

     

    —

  • Quiet With Reason

    I’ve been pretty head-down for a while now. I’ve been quiet about it because there’s not an easy way to talk about it.

    We just bought a house and among other small improvements we had to replace the A/C system. Our emergency fund took a big hit and we’re now feeling way less secure than we normally would.

    Grace had surgery and will be in a double hip spica cast for a minimum of 6 weeks. Not only is that more bills to pay, it’s a huge impact on how hard the day-to-day is.

    At work I’m on a team rotation where I’m learning a ton of new stuff, but I need to think twice as hard to get a similar amount of work done. Trying to make the most of it while balancing everything else has proven difficult, even if I love the work itself.

    a8c Grand Meetup is two weeks away. There is a lot of energy that goes into that.

    WordCamp Louisville is 72 days away. There is a ton of work to get done before that.

    Photo on 8-30-16 at 8.45 PM.jpg

    On the plus side, I stepped on the scale the other day and I weighed in at 235. That’s the lightest I’ve been since my freshman year of college. I’ve not been working out the past month with all the other stresses throwing me off schedule – but am now working on kettlebell training at home which I’m hopeful will be a good long-term regimen for me.

     

    Also on the plus side, with all those hardships still come some amazing benefits. Even when work is hard, it’s a great job where I’m appreciated and feel good about every minute spent doing it.

    Grace doesn’t care about the surgery or cast, she only cares about the attention we give her. So in a way she’s happier than ever. She’s also sleeping better.

    The house proves everyday to be a good choice for us, even though that one unexpected expense was a little daunting. And even though the emergency fund is skimpier, we’re not about to hungry any time soon (though we may say “No” if you ask us out to eat.) It’s the right size, in a great neighborhood, and fit our budget well.

    Yeah, being quiet and head-down can be good too.

     

    —

  • Get a .blog

    get.blog

    Open registration for new .blog domains begins on November 21st, but you can apply early today at get.blog. In November when it’s all up-and-running you’ll see this very site move over to a .blog domain!

    But I can tell you what it won’t be…

    Screenshot of get.blog's search for the domain name alex.blog which costs over one hundred thousand dollars

    … unless someone else wanted to get me a present!

    —

  • Zoe’s Tale by John Scalzi

    Foolish I was, to believe that I would read this book super quickly. Zoe’s Tale is a parallel story to Scalzi’s previous novel in the Old Man’s War universe, The Last Colony. We go through the experience of the Roanoke colony, but this time from Zoe’s perspective. I thought this meant I could shoot through the story and move on to the next book on my list for the year.

    But it was just too good for that. Parallel it is, but the Zoe Boutin-Perry’s experience is wholly separate from her parents’. It’s surprising how little John Perry is involved in this story. The book stands on its own legs and earned my full reading attention, which meant that I took way too long to read it. The library late fees are racking up as I type this post. You, dear average-paced reader instead of a slow-like-me reader, may not have such difficulties because it’s still a typical length and light effort.

    Zoe's Tale in hardcover, with avid reader cat, Bagheera
    Zoe’s Tale in hardcover, with avid reader cat, Bagheera

    I must admit that I was also hesitant that it would be too much of the Young Adult genre for me. Teenage relationships don’t really catch my interest, and it is a vital part of the book. But the YA and Sci-Fi are balanced well. At least well enough that I didn’t skip anything.

    Most importantly the novel does a couple important things that were missed in The Last Colony.

    1. The ending feels thought-out, full, and true to the narrative.
    2. The colony felt a lot more like a community, less like a group of people being lead by rock star protagonists

    From Scalzi’s appendix it sounded like a lot of Zoe’s Tale’s story was developed for The Last Colony and was cut. It covers so many gaps that I wasn’t shocked to learn that. It does make me wonder what The Last Colony could’ve been had it been 150 pages longer and included this material. I’d read it.

    Another great episode in a universe I’ve come to love. The remainder of the Old Man’s War books are on my list, but I’m pretty far behind so it may be a bit yet before I read more from Mr. Scalzi.

    Zoe’s Tale by John Scalzi, part of my 2016 Reading

    Amazon | Goodreads | Wikipedia

    whatever.scalzi.com

    —